your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
