the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
