I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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