Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
