things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
