I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
