Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
