Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
