I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
