PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
