How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
