the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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