Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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