He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
