We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
