I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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