is your mom at the bar?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
