You can't special order awesome
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
