I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
