i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
