the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
