There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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