Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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