so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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