And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
