dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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