Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
