i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
