my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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