I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
