she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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