You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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