and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need to sanitize my soul.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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