Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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