Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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