can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
