Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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