i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
