would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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