I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
that may or may not have been my penis.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
