i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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