So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
