It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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