I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
