Don't you send me to vm
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My life is pants optional.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
