I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
