there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
