Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
