Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
