What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
