The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
