This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
