I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
